Category Archives: Uncategorized

PARISH REPORT: Starting Lector Pulled After 1st Reading for Rookie Reliever

(AoftheANews) – COOPERSTOWN – Parishioners of Our Lady of Intentional Walks were surprised when the veteran starting lector, Rhonda Horne, was pulled after the First Reading during Sunday’s 10:30 AM Mass, and relieved by rookie Juan Hetter. “I didn’t want … Continue reading

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Local Man Excited for Media’s Annual Holy Week Blasphemous Reporting

(AoftheANews) – AUSTIN – Calling it “Christian reporting’s most important week of the year”, Austin resident Skip Tumahlew expressed excitement over the inevitable blasphemies and distortions the mainstream media will publish summarizing Catholic teaching throughout the week leading up to Easter … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Lead Cantor Suffers Rotator Cuff Injury, Out 6-8 Weeks

(AoftheANews) – CHARLESTON, WV –  St. Clavicle’s liturgical line-up suffered a huge loss last Sunday when starting cantor Cora Coyd seriously injured herself during the 10:00 AM Mass, while raising her arm to lead the congregation in singing the Responsorial Psalm. “Cora’s … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Ushers, Parish Agree to New Contract, Secure Living Wage

(AoftheANews) DETROIT – Ushers and the pastoral staff at Our Lady of Fair Labor Practices agreed to terms to a new 3-year labor contract at the eleventh hour this morning, narrowly avoiding a strike at the downtown Detroit parish. “We didn’t … Continue reading

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