Category Archives: News That Could Be True

PARISH REPORT: Toddler Scores Best Nap in Weeks During Long Form Gospel

(AoftheANews) – SLEEPY HOLLOW – Three-year-old Remy Nodderson took full advantage of the gospel at Sunday’s Mass, as the priest read the long form rather than omitting the bracketed sections, allowing him to get what he called “the best nap … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Catholic Mommy Blogger Silently Drafts Scathing Post About Fellow Parishioners During Mass

(AoftheANews) – CHEYENNE – As Catholic Mommy blogger Courtney Kitchener-McGavin held her slightly irritable two-year old daughter Jayden during Sunday’s 11:00 AM Mass, she mentally drafted a white-hot post condemning the parishioners around her who were perturbed she didn’t take her … Continue reading

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BREAKING! Vatican Considers Hosting Flat Earth Theory Synod in 2018

(AoftheANews) – VATICAN CITY – Unconfirmed reports from the Eternal City indicate that the Pontifical Academy of Sciences is close to announcing a Flat Earth Theory Synod for some time in 2018. According to the AoftheA News Vatican Bureau, two … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Area Man Transitioning From Novus Ordo to TLM Catholic

(AoftheANews) – AKRON – In what’s being described as courageous and brave, 21 year old local Catholic Adam Tayshin told his parish priest at Church of the Transfiguration this past weekend that he is in the process of transitioning from a Novus Ordo … Continue reading

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