Category Archives: News That Could Be True

BREAKING! Pope Francis Ordains Two Seminarians Aboard Rome Metro Underground

(AoftheANews) – VATICAN CITY – Unnamed Vatican sources told AoftheA News Vatican Bureau that Pope Francis ordained two seminarians on the Rome subway late last evening, while traveling about the city as the Holy Father is wont to do. “He … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, AoftheA Vatican Bureau, Humor, Marriage, News That Could Be True, Pope Francis | 2 Comments

PARISH REPORT: Ice Cream Social Turns Rough When Fat-free Yogurt Is Served

(AoftheANews) – BURLINGTON – Families of St. Baskins & Robbins parish were outraged last Saturday night when fat-free yogurt was served at their school’s annual Ice Cream Social. Styrofoam bowls and plastic spoons were strewn about, and globs of the … Continue reading

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Man Disappointed He’s Not an Angel Upon Reaching Heaven

(AoftheANews) – HEAVEN – Recently deceased local man Chip Ennis Schuldurr announced his disappointment that he wasn’t transformed into an angel upon reaching the Pearly Gates early this morning. “I feel kinda misled,” he told AoftheA News. “All during the … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Cantor Fined for Failing to Raise Arm During Responsorial Psalm

(AoftheANews) – MUSKEGON – 2018 started out on a costly note for cantor Mary Mel O’Deeze at Sts. Sonny & Cher, as the Worship Committee fined her $200 for failing to raise her arm during the Responsorial Psalm during the … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire | 2 Comments