Category Archives: AoftheA News Desk

PARISH REPORT: Starting Lector Pulled After 1st Reading for Rookie Reliever

(AoftheANews) – COOPERSTOWN – Parishioners of Our Lady of Intentional Walks were surprised when the veteran starting lector, Rhonda Horne, was pulled after the First Reading during Sunday’s 10:30 AM Mass, and relieved by rookie Juan Hetter. “I didn’t want … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, baseball, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

PARISH REPORT: Pastor Revealed Parish Secrets to Russian Orthodox Visitors, Sources Say

(AoftheANews) – MADISON – According to members of the Our Lady of the Third Degree parish council, their pastor revealed sensitive parish information to members of a Russian Orthodox church during a recent ecumenical visit. Unconfirmed reports from council members requesting … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire | 1 Comment

Pope Francis Uses Fidget Spinner to Explain God During Homily

(AoftheANews) – ROME – Pope Francis surprised the congregation during his homily at Sunday’s Mass, taking a fidget spinner from his pocket and using it to demonstrate the Trinity. “Just as St. Patrick used the three-leaf clover to teach his … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, AoftheA Vatican Bureau, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parody, Pope Francis, Satire, toys | 1 Comment

PARISH REPORT: First Communion Canceled Due to Felt Material Shortage

(AoftheANews) – BURLINGTON – Shock and dismay rippled through Our Lady of Good Vibrations parish this past Sunday, as the First Communion Mass was canceled due to a lack of felt material, which prevented the communicants from making their sacramental banners. … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire | 2 Comments