Category Archives: AoftheA News Desk

BREAKING! 62 Parishioners Issue Filial Correction to Organist for Playing ‘Amazing Grace’, Accused of “Propagating Heresies”

(AoftheANews) – ROME – AoftheA News has learned that 62 parishioners of a Rome parish sent their organist a ‘letter of filial correction’ last month, stating that his insistence on playing Amazing Grace was “propagating heresies”. The organist, Dr. Ivagotta … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Catholic Stuff, heresy, Humor, News That Could Be True, Satire | 1 Comment

PARISH REPORT: Pastor Sells Ad Space on His Vestments to Fund Parish Project

(AoftheANews) – KANSAS CITY – Fr. Mark Ahting, pastor of Our Lady of Good Bargains, signed advertising contracts with several major US Catholic publications and groups in an effort to raise funds to improve their parish labyrinth. Starting next Sunday, … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Cantor Glares Severely at Man not Singing Responsorial Psalm

(AoftheANews) – NEW HAVEN – Cantor Harriet I. Ball shot an icy look at a parishioner during the Responsorial Psalm at the 10:30 AM Mass on Sunday, according to several eyewitnesses. “At first I thought she was shooting daggers at … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Church Adds ‘Blessing-Free’ Express Communion Lanes

(AoftheANews) – SAN JOSE – Beginning next Sunday, those attending Mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Groove will have the option of receiving Holy Communion in ‘Blessing-Free’ Express Lanes. “We’re constantly seeking ways to enhance our parishioners’ Mass experience,” Holly … Continue reading

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire | 3 Comments