There are plenty of awful Christmas carols out there. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Christmas Shoes. Last Christmas. Do They Know It’s Christmas.
I won’t list more lest someone get triggered. But everybody’s got that *one* song they don’t want to hear this time of year. But did you know that there were Christmas Carols so bad, they never even got published or recorded? It’s true! Well, possibly maybe.
The AoftheA Entertainment Division dug through files, listened to demos, and sifted through submissions that even the Oregon Catholic Press rejected (that’s a mighty low bar, folks). Not all of these are religious in nature, which shouldn’t come as a surprise given that a lot of Catholics and Christians have forgotten why Christmas is celebrated in the first place.
In no particular order, here the Top Ten Rejected Christmas Carols:
10) Please Suspend my Restraining Order this Christmas
9) You’ll Love Me This Christmas (if the drug in your eggnog works)
8) Don’t Be Cheap For Christmas
7) Angels, Proclaim The Lord and His Pure Umbilical Cord!
6) If The Shepherds Brought Their Sheep, Why Can’t I Bring My Ex?
5) Have Yourself A Marijuana Christmas
4) On This Day A Nice Guy Is Born
3) I Met My Love in the Gift Return Line
2) (I’m Just A Casualty Of) The War on Christmas
1) Make Advent Great Again!
What other carols do you think were rejected? Put them in the combox, or on the AoftheA Facebook page!
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