This is it, men – those of you who blog. It’s our chance to take control of the Catholic blogosphere. Here’s what’s going down.
Catholic Mommy Bloggers from the world over are congregating in Austin this weekend for the third Edel Gathering. I know it sounds like a girl band outdoor concert event, or an MLM home-based business racket, but it’s not. ‘Edel’ is named for Venerable Edel Quinn, and the Gathering is about Catholic moms recharging their batteries, escaping the kids, blah blah blah. Enough about the details, though. Let me throw vague and completely untrue assertions at you instead.
Edel Gathering is the brainchild of Jen Fulwiler (Catholic Radio Show Queen & 7 Quick Takes creator) and Hallie Lord, her book-writing podcasting ninja right hand sidekick. They’re the primo Catholic Mommy Bloggers (though they’ve long since evolved into broadcasting), the Generals of the Social Media Baby-making Brigade. They’ve invited millions of mommy bloggers, many of whom, after getting their husband’s permission, are attending*. It’s marketed as a religious, spiritual thing, but let’s get real here – it’s an attempt to sidestep the patriarchy, while making some Benjamins.
Think I’m wrong? Check this out. AoftheA has obtained an advance marketing still of the Jen and Hallie #Edel17 Action Figures available for purchase at Edel (not shown are The Edel Radio Studio Secret Hideout, and Supercharged Book-Signing Event Playset that transforms into a tour bus). Don’t be surprised when you catch your daughters playing Podcast one day next week, or demand them for Christmas. You’ve been duly warned.
Listen to me, men. The timing’s perfect. Other Mommy bloggers are guest speakers, such as Mary Lenaburg, Christina Dehan Jaloway, and Angela Neumann (Angela’s not a Catholic Blogger, so how she snuck in is beyond me, but whatevs. It’s planned by women.) Haley Stewart is the shindig emcee. Other Mommy bloggers will be in attendance, too, including Heather Renshaw and Rebecca Frech. Are you seeing the pattern here?
THE MOMMY BLOGGERS ARE OFF THE INTERNET!!!!
Don’t doubt me on this. You long-time readers know, three words immediately come to mind when you say “Acts of the Apostasy”: Fingers. Pulse. Catholic. Blogosphere.
(Yeah, it’s four words, but nbd, they’re bad at math)
So while they’re talking about babies, swapping Instant Pot recipes, comparing Jamberries, discussing potty-training techniques, and maybe mention faith once or twice – us men have the perfect opportunity to solidify our hold on the Internet. If we have the will.
This can work. I’ve even secretly included an “educational” video into the schedule of events to advance our cause.
Don’t worry about them discovering our plans, because, duh…THE MOMMY BLOGGERS ARE OFF THE INTERNET!!
I’m not talking small potatoes here either, like leaving up the toilet seat, or duct taping the kids to the wall. No. We have to go for the whole enchilada.
And keep it.
If you’re with me, sign up in the combox. Leave a comment on Facebook. Pull up your big-boy boxer shorts, be brave, and join the revolution. Deus Vult and all that.
Work through your “Honey Do” list first, if you must. Nobody will judge you. Much. But we only have til 11 AM Sunday.
Now, what to do with the Catholic Internet once taking it…we’ll discuss that over bourbon and cigars. First things first.
(updated from a post originally published 7/25/2014)
*I realize some attendees might be unmarried, which means they obviously got permission from either their dad or parish priest.
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