The marble pulpit at Ss. Tarek & Christina expressed excitement yesterday after being informed he was headed for storage in the Church’s basement, as part of the sanctuary’s ongoing renovation project.
“I’m looking forward to being reunited with my pals, the altar rail twins,” the ornately handcrafted pulpit said, “along with the traditional statues that had been removed over the past several years. It’ll be great reminiscing about the good ol’ days. I’m hoping the high altar is in storage too, but I heard rumors it was sold to the Anglican church across town.”
The pulpit, carved from the finest Italian marble in Milan in 1784, and transported to Ss. Tarek & Christina in the late 1800’s, knew it’s time was coming. “It’s been three years since anyone read the Gospel or gave a homily from me, and the renovations have been ongoing. To be honest, it’s hard standing here unused, Mass after Mass after Mass. I feel like the dorky kid on the playground nobody wants to be seen with. Pretty much the only time I get used now is after Mass, when children run up and down my stairs.”
The majestic masterpiece of ecclesial architecture, which hearkened to bygone days of indisputable Catholic beauty and grandeur, sighed heavily. “I’ll miss seeing the congregation, sure, but I’ll miss the exquisitely designed 19th-century gold tabernacle most of all. Though I’m sure he’ll be joining me sooner rather than later.”
Removal is slated for the first week of July, and its space will be taken up by a stage for the praise and worship ensemble.
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