(AoftheANews) – ROME – Pope Francis surprised the congregation during his homily at Sunday’s Mass, taking a fidget spinner from his pocket and using it to demonstrate the Trinity.
“Just as St. Patrick used the three-leaf clover to teach his followers about the Triune nature of God,” Pope Francis said, “I can use my aluminum Tri Fidget Spinner to reveal the mysteries of our God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. As the spinner spins faster, the three arms seem to become a single disc, yet they maintain their individuality. It is one, yet three, even when I do tricks with it, such as this hand transfer.”
Vatican spokesman Greg Burke told the AoftheA Vatican Bureau the Holy Father had seen children and adults using the fidget spinners during his Wednesday audiences, and he ordered several through Amazon.
“He’s fascinated by them, and right away, he saw the theological value in the Tri-Fidget Spinners. He’s taught himself numerous tricks and maneuvers, and he’s working on coming up with a few of his own. He’s gotten quite a few Curia members hooked on them as well.”
During his homily, the Holy Father explained that just as an improperly balanced spinner won’t work very well, our faith will falter if our view of God is likewise improperly balanced. “Could I execute a behind-the-back move like this, if my spinner was unbalanced. No, I tell you, no! It is the same if we don’t balance God equally as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!”
Burke said The Vatican is currently in discussions with local manufacturers to develop and market a Pope Francis spinner, tentatively called ‘The Papal Plane’. “Since the Holy Father’s interviews have caused a lot of nervous fidgeting and head-spinning during his pontificate, it seemed the logical choice.”
EDITOR: FYI y’all…this is satire.
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