10 Things More Enjoyable Than Listening To Obama's SOTU Address

President Obama is delivering his State of the Union address this Tuesday, February 10 February 12.  Whoop-de-doo.  Even if you paid me a billion dollars, I wouldn’t listen to one syllable emerging from his lying vocal chords…I’d watch it on mute, without captions, for a billion bucks, but I wouldn’t listen.

In fact, I’d do any of the ten following things rather than listen to Obama talk about himself and his destructive plans for our nation:

1.  Sit through a 1000-contestant Gilbert Gottfried impersonation challenge.

2.  Watch every news conference Nancy Pelosi ever gave when she was Speaker of the House.

3.  Invite Ed Schultz, Chris Matthews and Rachel Maddow over for dinner.

4.  Attend the LA Religious Education Congress.

5.  Witness a Joan Rivers striptease act.

6.  Watch “Heaven’s Gate”, “Stop, or My Mother Will Shoot!” and “Battlefield Earth” on a continuous 24-hour loop.

7.  Use Microsoft Explorer for a week.  Maybe two.

8.  Work as Lindsey Lohan’s parole officer for a whole month.

9.  Watch every episode of “Cop Rock!” and “afterM*A*S*H*”.

10.  Eat haggis, washed down with a pot of Civet coffee, and topped off with a bowl of hasma.

What about you?  What would you rather do than listen to Obama’s SOTU address Tuesday?

About Larry D

LarryD has been blogging since March 2008, making observations on trends within the culture and the Church. His goal? Poking hornets nests with a stick and injecting humor into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously. He currently resides in Michigan.
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15 Responses to 10 Things More Enjoyable Than Listening To Obama's SOTU Address

  1. Adrienne says:

    Ummmmm, Larry – isn’t today the 10th?

    I. can. not. stand. the. sound. of. his. voice. I. also. can. not. stand. the. sight. of. him.

  2. jeanpergande says:

    I will wash clothes, clean cupboards, file my nails…anything but listen to his lies.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Haggis is actually delicious.

  4. al007italia says:

    Joan Rivers doing a strip tease, brrrrrrrrrrrr that sends shivers up my spine.
    How about her & Pelosi appearing on the same stage doing a strip duel?

  5. Hmm, let me add, 11) drink fair trade coffee…4 and 7 were hillarious…as for what I’ll be doing…I will be making plans for thursday

  6. Ms. Allie says:

    I would rather pray the Office in inclusive language while listening to mangled hymns that have had their lyrics made more “inclusive” (take out male nouns and pronouns) while watching a slideshow of the Danube “ordynatyns.”

    At least that would be a penance worth offering.

  7. Lay down on a bed with a bunch of porcupines.

  8. Ian S. Gibson says:

    It’s times like these I’m glad I’m English *smug grin*

  9. Tom Perna says:

    I will be teaching my university course, Introduction to Theology. We are covering the New Testament and the Eucharistic Covenant.

    I would rather ride with the “Nuns on the Bus” and talk about “social justice.”
    I would rather subscribe to a one year membership of the National Catholic Reporter.

  10. the Old Adam says:

    Have a tooth pulled.

  11. Gregg the Obscure says:

    Attempt to remove one of my kidneys using only a wooden spoon.
    Learn to distinguish Drano, brake fluid and transmission fluid in a blind taste test.
    Paint the shingles on my roof when the windchill is below zero.

  12. joekstl says:

    “I wouldn’t listen to one syllable emerging from his lying vocal chords”. I take you at your word, LarryD. That means you would never have listened to President George W. Bush for the same reason as he continually in speeches lied over and over again about the Iraq war. I aplaud your consistency and bi-partisanship.

    Peace,

    JoeK

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