Fed-up Parishioner Finally Gets Pastor's Attention

(AoftheAP)  All Freddy Aurnaught wanted was a chance to talk to his pastor.  But that was the last thing his pastor, Fr. Remo Pearl, was willing to give.

“I’ve been trying for months to just chat with him, y’know, talk to him about some of my concerns,” said Freddy, long-time member of Church of the Divine Tambourine parish.  “But Father never returned my calls or responded to my emails, and he never stuck around after Mass either.  Just heads back to the rectory, still in his vestments.  It was very frustrating.”

Freddy’s concerns?  “There’s too much shenanigans going on during Mass,” he told AoftheA.  “Stuff like gender-inclusive language, lay people giving homilies, glass chalices, prayers being made up on the spot.  But Father wouldn’t talk to me.  So three weeks ago, I finally came up with a way to get his attention.”

“Hey, crazy ladies who want to be priests use signs like this,” Freddy explained.  “And people who hold signs at football games get shown on TV all the time, so I figured maybe it would work for me too.”

And work it did.  After ushers swooped in and forcibly removed him from Mass, Fr. Pearl finally agreed to meet with Freddy afterward.

“Yeah, he was upset.  Really upset,” Freddy acknowledged.  “He did most of the shouting.  But I stood my ground, and said I would keep coming in with a sign until he agreed to talk with me.  Fr. Pearl refused.”

So the following week…

Again, Freddy was swarmed over by ushers, and they confiscated his sign.

But Freddy was undeterred.  He returned the following Sunday, sneaking into the choir loft before Mass began…

Freddy told AoftheA he has a meeting scheduled with Fr. Pearl on Tuesday.

“My advice?  Be persistent and creative,” Freddy said.  “But mostly persistent.”

About Larry D

LarryD has been blogging since March 2008, making observations on trends within the culture and the Church. His goal? Poking hornets nests with a stick and injecting humor into the New Evangelization, with the gentle reminder that everyone's taking themselves way too seriously. He currently resides in Michigan.
This entry was posted in Humor, Mass, Parody. Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Fed-up Parishioner Finally Gets Pastor's Attention

  1. Jeff Miller says:

    Very funny indeed! Though you need to spell check “Parishoner”

  2. Adrienne says:

    Too funny (except it’s not exactly.)

    I just left and went somewhere else. It saved on poster board and marker costs…

  3. John Rondina says:

    It is all very funny. However, the photos are doctored. The first two photos are exactly the same, except for the sign. The photos are supposed to be a week apart. Unless everyone dresses the same and sits in the same spot and has the same posture every Sunday you know that the photos are doctored. It is obvious to me that the signs are masked in.

    The third photo is not of the same church in the first two photos. The interiors are diffrent. Also notice that the kneeling are of the first pew is open style while in the third photo is solid. The only thing the appears the same is the man in the dark suit and yellow tie seated in the first pew. The sign supposedly hanging from chior is a masking to the third photo.

    Observation by Detective John

  4. terry Nelson says:

    Well someone got a new sense of humor this Christmas. Very funny Leddy!

  5. terry Nelson says:

    John took this literally, didn’t he.

  6. Allen Troupe says:

    Larry, I know a couple parishes in DBQ that could use a visit from him & his signs! (If only he were real that is.)

  7. The Watcher says:

    I know a bunch of Protestant churches who could use a Freddy.

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  9. I’m dealing w/ a similar problem; except the pastor has chosen to lie to the bishop and tell him that I didn’t speak w/ him about the problem, when I did; plus I had a witness. Now Fr. Follow -His -Own -Version, has called me saying that speaking with him in the sacristy of the church doesn’t count as a “meeting”! I suppose we’ll differ on what we think the definition of what the word “is” is also. Besides, I didn’t tell the bishop that I had a “meeting” with Fr. Follow-His-Own-Version; I just told the bishop that I had “spoken” to the pastor about my feelings on the problem and the pastor had refused to change the issue of some super disrespectful statues he’s chosen to purchase for our parish. (This may sound familiar to some of your followers.)

    The bishop wrote me saying that Fr. said that “I NEVER spoke to HIM about any problem.” The bishop also said that he couldn’t move forward to resolve the issue until I first spoke to the pastor. I wrote the bishop and told him that I had, and either the pastor’s memory was faulty or he was lying to his bishop. I also had my witness write to the bishop stating that she was present when I spoke to the pastor. (The pastor’s Worship Coordinator was there also.) It was directly after that that I received a message on my phone machine from Pastor “Follow-Your-Own-Version, telling me that he didn’t believe that me “yelling at him in the sacristy was a meeting.” A.) I never raised my voice at all. B.) I have a witness C) I was simply persistent wanting to know WHO the “parish” that Fr. said choose the statues consisted of? Plus, reminded the Worship Coordinator that would only tell me that it consisted of herself and Father, “of course”, that the parish did not belong to Father. When he asked me why I would say that, and found out it was because I felt the statues were horrible and disrespectful to the Holy Family, he instructed me to “spend time in front of them, and they would “grow on me”. It seems to be the same answer he’s given every person that doesn’t like them. I want to know, How exactly does a statue “grow on you” if the statue doesn’t even resemble, in any way, the person, or persons they are suppose to represent? If I drew a picture of someone’s deceased son and put red hair and a beard on a son that had black hair and was clean shaven, how would I expect the mother to simply spend time with my picture and it would “grow on her”?? It doesn’t even look like her son! What a strange answer to be giving people! They have St.Joseph wearing a turban w/ no beard! (among other things)

    I’ll meet w/ the pastor if my bishop tells me to, but since the pastor clearly remembered speaking to me about this and then told his bishop a lie, saying that I NEVER spoke to him at all, I don’t see the point of making a special meeting with him, just to tell him the same thing! It only seems like some kind of game he’s playing.

    By the way, I am one of a few people that have spoken to the bishop about the “statue issue” so far. The bishop needs to know that there are more people upset about this and any other things Fr. Follow-Your-Own-Version is doing or saying. Please speak up and make your concerns known. The bishop must hear from others regarding pastors that are saying or doing illicit things (even in private to you) in order to act on it.


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  11. Karen says:

    Those little pocket olympus recorders come in really handy. put up the audio conversation on youtube or archive.org and let the bishop decide who was yelling or not. Same thing with those priests that free form their own Mass. If you’ve finally ‘had it’ with them and their BS, go up to the choir loft and use a small camera that can take video clips and film what’s going on. Then if there is any crap along the lines of ‘I did NOT use cheezits and Nehi grape soda’ when they CLEARLY did, the priest will have his fanny in a sling and not you. And if the bishop is a big putz, well, there is the power of the internet blog too.

  12. iowapapist says:

    The actions (or lack thereof) of the Archbishop of DBQ are heinous; thus, he is appropriately named.

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