How to Properly Commemorate #ReformationDay

Happy Reformation Day! If you decide to commemorate it, this is the best way to do it:

(Don’t know who made the meme, so I can’t attribute it. So funny.)

Posted in Catholic Stuff, Ecumenism Gone Wild, Humor | Comments Off on How to Properly Commemorate #ReformationDay

Want to Pray for the Unborn? There’s an App for That!

Unless you use an iPhone.

Several years ago, the pro-life group Human Coalition developed an app that “brings together praying people from across the country for one purpose: to pray for abortion-determined individuals as they walk through their life-decision process.” The app had been available on both Android and iPhone platforms, until last week, when Apple removed it from their app store apparently in response to pro-abortion media criticism.


This time, a pro-life group tells LifeNews that Apple approved and subsequently removed its app from the App Store after criticism from abortion activists and liberal media outlets. As Human Coalition informs LifeNews, it released a mobile app allowing pro-life individuals and church groups to pray for Human Coalition’s abortion-seeking clients, who remain anonymous, in real time. The app, “Human Coalition,” was available for android devices in the Google Play Store, and in the Apple App Store for iOS.

After that, this past summer, the pro-life group came under intense public criticism as pro-abortion journalists took notice of the app and began attacking Human Coalition for urging pro-life people to pray for women contemplating abortion. Some articles falsely accused Human Coalition of making public women’s private information.


“In July, on the heels of pro-abortion media pushback, Apple notified us that they had removed the Human Coalition app from the App Store, citing violations of certain functionality requirements. However, Human Coalition spoke with Apple and demonstrated that not only were the cited requirements met, but that the Human Coalition app exceeded minimum requirements and functioned better than similar apps from other developers,” it said.

The app is still available in Google Play Store – I downloaded it last week, and have begun using it. It’s free, simple to navigate, and allows people to direct their prayers for women considering abortion in real time. It’s not an end-all be-all, and Human Coalition doesn’t advertise it as such. I’ve incorporated it into my daily morning prayer routine, recognizing it as another tool in the pro-life toolbox designed to save lives, help women, and end abortion through the power of prayer.

Apple caved to pro-abort pressure, which in my opinion is a terrible business decision. You’d think Apple would prefer potential customers over dead babies who’ll never buy their products, but what do I know.

And you iPhone users? Apple ought to feel some intense pro-life criticism for this decision – tell them you’re pissed off, or that you’ll switch phones. They don’t care about the unborn – so why should you care about their phones?

Image source: Human Coalition (Free social graphics)

Posted in Abortion, Culture of Death, Culture of Life, Internet, Pro-Life, Technology | Comments Off on Want to Pray for the Unborn? There’s an App for That!

Top 10 Catholic Horror Movies That Need To Be Made Right Now

People love horror movies, and research has shown that Catholics love horror movies, too (research has also shown that Catholics are people, so there ya go!). Research has also shown that there are very few, if any, Catholic horror movies. I mean, there was The Last Temptation of Christ, but beyond that – not much. Sure, lots of horror movies include Catholic imagery and iconography, like Satan, Hell, exorcisms, end times stuff, Jesuits…but that’s the extent of it. This has to be fixed, post haste.

To solve this problem, the AoftheA Entertainment Division met up Friday night, armed with Doritos, White Castles, a couple cases of Monster, and PDF’s of parish bulletins from all over the US. They held an all-night brain-storming session, and long after the sun rose the following morning, they emerged with a list of the Top 10 Catholic Horror Movies That Need To Be Made Right Now. In no particular order:

10. The Parish Picnic: It was scheduled to last four hours on a Sunday. It lasted an eternity.
9. It Came From RCIA: One man’s journey into inescapable horror, finding he knows more about the faith than the instructors.
8. Sub-Committees: A woman volunteers for a Church committee, learns it creates countless out-of-control sub-committees, and only she has the power to defeat it.
7. The Confessional: Afraid of confession? You should be.
6. The Thurible of Doom: It’s incensed and seeking vengeance.
5. The Last Diocesan Appeal Campaign: Putting the pain in “Campaign” – and you will pay every penny.
4. Day of the Catechism Class Sign-up: The forms, the phone calls, the run-around…is there no escape from this hell???
3. Attack of the EHMCs: They emerge from the shadows during Mass and swarm the altar…and they’re out for your body and your blood.
2. Pewsitter: Catholic blogger learns an aggregator site devours souls and destroys faithful blogs with awfully written headlines, and his site is next on its list.
1. I’m Fr. Jim Martin, and I’m Your New Pastor: Needs no explanation.

That last one might be too scary.

Anyway, guys, this is important. Petition EWTN right now. They need to get to work – hire writers, scope out locations, hold auditions, get financial backing. Catholic filmmakers and producers have to jump on this train while it’s still in the station. They gotta get their butts on board before someone green lights Friday the 13th, part XXXIV.

Photo credit: ToastyKen via / CC BY

Posted in AoftheA Entertainment Division, Catholic Stuff, Humor, Movies, Satire, Snark, Top Ten Lists | 6 Comments

BREAKING! 62 Parishioners Issue Filial Correction to Organist for Playing ‘Amazing Grace’, Accused of “Propagating Heresies”

(AoftheANews) – ROME – AoftheA News has learned that 62 parishioners of a Rome parish sent their organist a ‘letter of filial correction’ last month, stating that his insistence on playing Amazing Grace was “propagating heresies”. The organist, Dr. Ivagotta Rithiminnmi, has held his position for the past four and a half years.

AoftheA News obtained a copy of the letter, which begins by saying that with “profound grief but moved by fidelity to our Lord Jesus Christ, and by love for the Church, and by filial devotion toward yourself” the 62 signatories were “compelled” to issue this letter “on account of the propagation of heresies.”

Particularly noted was the organist’s insistence on playing Amazing Grace during Sunday liturgies, including “pretty much 80% of the contents of the Oregon Catholic Press hymnal”, and a direct reference to “the banality and tangential heretical spirit of the Lenten piece of crap called Ashes. For the love of all that is holy, man – just stop.”

The parishioners “respectfully insist” that the organist condemn the heresies that he has directly or indirectly played during the Mass, and that he lead the congregation with hymns that express the truth of the Catholic faith in its integrity.

Dr. Rithiminnmi has not responded to the letter, and calls to his office have not been returned. The parish pastor was unavailable for comment.

The filial correction is the first to be issued since 1979, when a midtown New York parish music director conducted a “Disco Mass” complete with discoball and lasers.

The signatories emphasize they are not accusing the organist of formal heresy, and are making “no judgment about Dr Rithiminnmi’s culpability in propagating musical heresy” as it is “not their task to judge about whether the sin of heresy has been committed.”

However, they aver there are better, more appropriate Catholic hymns for Mass, and “we officially state for the record the tambourine rhythm section has to go, too.”

Photo credit: Violator1 via Visualhunt / CC BY-ND

Posted in AoftheA News Desk, Catholic Stuff, heresy, Humor, News That Could Be True, Satire | 1 Comment