PARISH REPORT: Lonely Communion Paten Hoping to Be Adopted by Tradtional Catholic Parish

ACMPress – BOSTON – The last remaining communion paten at The National Shrine of the Unending Indult continues to have hope that a traditional Catholic parish will soon adopt him.

“It’s tough, you know, sitting in a dark drawer in the sacristry,” the paten told ACMPress. “Day in, day out, being unused. I don’t know what happened to the others. There were six of us at one point. I’m the only one left.”

The paten gave a long, plaintive sigh. “I hope they found good homes. Maybe a church with an altar rail. Or an ad orientem parish. Maybe I’ll get packed up and sent to Gallup. That would be great!”

The paten couldn’t remember the last time he was used. “Gosh, it’s been years. Decades maybe. I remember being purified on the altar, and then, bam! Put back in this drawer and forgotten.”

Parish records of the whereabouts of the other patens were unavailable, but it was discovered the sanctus bells and censer had been donated to an FSSP parish in Nebraska.

“Nebraska sounds kinda nice, actually,” the paten lamented. “Can you tell Bishop Bruskewitz about me? Please?”

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Image source: Abraham via Wikimedi Commons under CC-BY-SA-4.0

About Larry Denninger

After writing at "Acts of the Apostasy" for more than 10 years under a pseudonym, Larry decided it was time to go public, and launch a brand new blog. It will probably backfire horribly. Which means you will want to follow and witness the impending trainwreck. He resides in Michigan.
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