PARISH REPORT: Church Unveils New Line of Craft Sacramental Wines

ACMPress – NAPA VALLEY – Sts. Bartle & Jaymes in Napa, CA unveiled their long awaited line-up of 2019 craft organic sacramental wines this past weekend, holding tastings for their parishioners after each Mass. The response was overwhelmingly positive.

“I’m so grateful I’m no longer a Baptist,” a woman told ACMPress. “This makes being Catholic so worthwhile.”

Head winegrower Deacon Reese Ling said this year’s crop was the best he’s ever seen. “We had a fantastic growing season. While it’s still a little early to harvest and mass produce, we managed to make a few bottles of each variety, to give the parish a taste of things to come.”

This year’s line-up includes: ‘Ordinary Thyme’, a crisp chardonnay infused with a mixture of herbs; ‘Liturgical Dance’, a rather expressive red blend with just a hint of chiffon; ‘Venial Zin’, a light-hearted not-so-serious zinfadel; “White Privelege”, a bold pinot blanc with a guilty pleasure aftertaste; and ‘Social JustIce’, a sweet dessert wine with noticeable sanctimonious undertones.

“This is our first attempt at dessert wines,” Reese said. “I’m confident the Worship Committee will find a use for it. Maybe for the monthly birthday masses.”

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Photo credit: juanpedraza on Visual Hunt / CC BY-SA

About Larry Denninger

After writing at "Acts of the Apostasy" for more than 10 years under a pseudonym, Larry decided it was time to go public, and launch a brand new blog. It will probably backfire horribly. Which means you will want to follow and witness the impending trainwreck. He resides in Michigan.
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