Category Archives: Satire

PARISH REPORT: Local Woman Sets Personal Record, Attends Mass on 9 Consecutive Sundays

ACMPress – OCALA – Local woman and life-long Catholic Bess Lye-Fevver posted on her Facebook wall earlier this week that she set a personal record of attending Mass 9 consecutive Sundays. “Took a lot of effort and hard work, but … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Man Told He Can’t Bring Liturgical Abuse Emotional Support Dog Into Mass

ACMPress – CHICAGO – Local man Sherman Gephardt attended the 9:30 AM Mass this past Sunday at Our Lady of Perpetual Clapping without his constant companion next to him in the pew – Terror Daemonum, his golden lab emotional support … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: ‘Helicopter’ Mom Demands to Help Newly Ordained Son Celebrate First Mass

ACMPress – MONTPELIER – Local woman Sue Korski, whose son Martin was ordained a priest two weeks ago, demanded that her bishop permit her to con-celebrate his first Mass this upcoming Sunday at St. Huey Parish. “I’ve done everything for … Continue reading

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Patheos Announces Launch of New “Ex-Catholic” Channel

(ACMPress) A spokesman for Patheos Inc announced this morning they are launching a new channel by week’s end: The Ex-Catholic Channel. “Given the growing number of ex-Catholics – especially in America – we felt they needed a place where they … Continue reading

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