Category Archives: Satire

PARISH REPORT: Diocese Says EMHC Unemployment Rate May Hit 100%

(ACMPress) WALLA WALLA – A spokeswoman from the Diocese of Walla Walla announced that, as parishes resume public Masses, the unemployment rate for Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion may likely hit 100%. “It’s a sad situation,” spokeswoman Kno Mo Whyyn … Continue reading

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Mr. Catholic Decides to Let Jesus Save the Catholic Church

Mr. Catholic stunned all of Catholicism when he tweeted out his decision to allow Jesus Christ to save the Catholic Church. Responding to the May 17th tweet, Jesus admitted the declaration caught him unawares. “Only I can save it? It’s … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Pastor Fills Fonts With Blessed Hand Sanitizer

(ACMPress) GRAND RAPIDS – In anticipation of the public Mass restriction being lifted soon across the diocese, Fr. Mike Robial, the pastor at Our Lady of Good Hygiene, has devised a clever way for returning parishioners to protect themselves from … Continue reading

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Man Watches Livestreamed Mass from Back of His Livingroom

ACMPress – FARMINGTON – Parishioner Ken I. Gettanaman, a member of Our Lady of Good Hygeine in Farmington, was initally disappointed that the Archdiocese of Detroit had suspended all public Masses until April 6. That disappointment turned to appreciation when … Continue reading

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