Category Archives: Satire

PARISH REPORT: Greeters Give Mass-goers Sanitizer, Safety Masks to Combat Flu

Posted on February 20, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – GREEN BAY – Parishioners attending Mass this weekend at Sts. Tyrne & Koff in downtown Green Bay were given things other than smiles and handshakes by greeters. They were handed masks and small bottles of hand sanitizer upon … Continue reading →

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PARISH REPORT: IT Guy “Pretty Geeked” about Finally Launching Parish’s MySpace Page

Posted on February 6, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – DULUTH – Cal Porter, IT systems manager at Mary, Queen of Angels parish in Duluth, was all smiles Monday morning, having successfully launched the parish’s debut MySpace page. “What an exciting day!” he told ACMPress. “I’m pretty geeked … Continue reading →

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Catholic Bloggers Excommunicate Canon Lawyers Who Used Canon Law to Explain Why Catholic Pro-abortion Pols Can’t Be Excommunicated

Posted on February 4, 2019 by Larry Denninger

[ACMPress] – Numerous Catholic bloggers, frustrated that New York bishops still haven’t excommunicated Governor Andrew Cuomo after signing an extremely progressive abortion law last week, have unilaterally excommunicated the canon lawyers who succinctly explained why excommunication of the governor isn’t … Continue reading →

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PARISH REPORT: Marie Kondo Decluttering Fad Inspires Pastor to Remove Church Walls, Roof

Posted on January 30, 2019 by Larry Denninger

(ACMPress) MOBILE – What started as a modest interest in decluttering for Fr. Jan A’ttoreal, the pastor of Sts. Flotsam and Jetsam parish outside Mobile, AL, quickly turned into a major overhaul of the church building. He had the walls … Continue reading →

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