Category Archives: Parody

PARISH REPORT: Church Unveils New Line of Craft Sacramental Wines

Posted on August 30, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – NAPA VALLEY – Sts. Bartle & Jaymes in Napa, CA unveiled their long awaited line-up of 2019 craft organic sacramental wines this past weekend, holding tastings for their parishioners after each Mass. The response was overwhelmingly positive. “I’m … Continue reading →

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PARISH REPORT: Church Serves Free Range Donuts at Coffee Hour; Attendance Skyrockets

Posted on August 9, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – LIBERTYVILLE – Mass attendance at Our Lady of Organic Goodness in downtown Libertyville has increased markedly since May of 2019, and the Welcoming and Holistic Ministry chairwoman knows the reason why. It’s the free-range donuts being served at … Continue reading →

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PARISH REPORT: Lonely Communion Paten Hoping to Be Adopted by Tradtional Catholic Parish

Posted on July 24, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – BOSTON – The last remaining communion paten at The National Shrine of the Unending Indult continues to have hope that a traditional Catholic parish will soon adopt him. “It’s tough, you know, sitting in a dark drawer in … Continue reading →

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Survey: People Leaving Musicals Before Final Number are Exclusively Catholics

Posted on July 22, 2019 by Larry Denninger

ACMPress – New York – Broadway theatre owners and managers conducted a survey of their patrons this past June, and discovered that those who leave musical performances just prior to the final number are exclusively Catholic. While the percentage of … Continue reading →

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