Category Archives: Parish Report

PARISH REPORT: Priest Installs Mirror in Adoration Chapel to Attract Millennials

[ACMPress] SEATTLE – The pastor at Our Lady of Virtual Reality announced this morning he’s made a major change to the parish’s perpetual adoration chapel, in hopes of attracting the millennial crowd to the church. “I’m super excited about this,” … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Worship Committee Chair Nominee Alleged to Binge Drink Sacramental Wine as Altar Boy

[ACMPress] – BETHESDA – What began as a simple confirmation process for a new Worship Committee chairperson at Sts Bartles & Jaymes quickly turned complicated yesterday, when allegations arose that the nominee was a sacramental wine binge drinker as an … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Vegan Leaves Catholic Church upon Hearing Eucharist Is Jesus’ Body

[ACMPress] – PORTLAND – Corey Ander, a 22-year old lifelong Catholic and vegan, announced on Facebook he was leaving the Catholic Church because “I heard my priest say the Eucharist is Jesus’ body and blood, and I promised myself I … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Change in Coffee Brand Causes Near Riot after Mass

[ACMPress] – ROCKFORD – Parishioners at St Juan Valdez caused a near riot last Sunday when they discovered the coffee served after the Eight’oclock AM Mass was a different brand. Many parishioners tossed full cups of hot coffee into the … Continue reading

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