Category Archives: News That Could Be True

Man Credited with Saving Alaskan Glaciers up for Beatification

[ACMPress] – ROME – An official at the Congregation for the Causes of Saints confirmed with ACMPress they’ve begun the beatification process for the man credited with saving Alaskan glaciers from the ravaging effects of climate change. Phil Ehrrupp, a … Continue reading

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Vatican Officials Annoyed Pope Francis Won’t Shut Up Over His Being Silent

[ACMPress] – ROME – Numerous Vatican officials have complained to ACMPress that Pope Francis, ever since recommending “silence in prayer” in a homily delivered on September 3, to deal with those seeking scandal and division, hasn’t stopped talking about how … Continue reading

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BREAKING! Pope Francis Called Wuerl, Cupich to Rome for Fantasy Football Draft Advice

[ACMPress] – ROME – ACMPRess has learned Pope Francis summoned Cardinals Wuerl and Cupich to Rome to help him with his Fantasy Football draft and starting line-up for the first week of the NFL. Unnamed sources told ACMPRess that Pope … Continue reading

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PARISH REPORT: Change in Coffee Brand Causes Near Riot after Mass

[ACMPress] – ROCKFORD – Parishioners at St Juan Valdez caused a near riot last Sunday when they discovered the coffee served after the Eight’oclock AM Mass was a different brand. Many parishioners tossed full cups of hot coffee into the … Continue reading

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