Category Archives: All The News That’s Misfit To Print

PARISH REPORT: Diocese Says EMHC Unemployment Rate May Hit 100%

(ACMPress) WALLA WALLA – A spokeswoman from the Diocese of Walla Walla announced that, as parishes resume public Masses, the unemployment rate for Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion may likely hit 100%. “It’s a sad situation,” spokeswoman Kno Mo Whyyn … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Parody, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Diocese Says EMHC Unemployment Rate May Hit 100%

PARISH REPORT: Pastor Fills Fonts With Blessed Hand Sanitizer

(ACMPress) GRAND RAPIDS – In anticipation of the public Mass restriction being lifted soon across the diocese, Fr. Mike Robial, the pastor at Our Lady of Good Hygiene, has devised a clever way for returning parishioners to protect themselves from … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Pastor Fills Fonts With Blessed Hand Sanitizer

Report: Pope to Infallibly Declare Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself

ACMPress – ROME – Sources within the Vatican have told ACMPress that Pope Francis is preparing a document in which he will infallibly declare that Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself. “The Holy Father has been following the case very closely,” … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, Parody, Pope Francis, Satire | Comments Off on Report: Pope to Infallibly Declare Jeffrey Epstein Didn’t Kill Himself

PARISH REPORT: Church Unveils New Line of Craft Sacramental Wines

ACMPress – NAPA VALLEY – Sts. Bartle & Jaymes in Napa, CA unveiled their long awaited line-up of 2019 craft organic sacramental wines this past weekend, holding tastings for their parishioners after each Mass. The response was overwhelmingly positive. “I’m … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Parody, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Church Unveils New Line of Craft Sacramental Wines