BREAKING! Pope Francis Called Wuerl, Cupich to Rome for Fantasy Football Draft Advice

[ACMPress] – ROME – ACMPRess has learned Pope Francis summoned Cardinals Wuerl and Cupich to Rome to help him with his Fantasy Football draft and starting line-up for the first week of the NFL.

Unnamed sources told ACMPRess that Pope Francis called the emergency meetings, needing to see Wuerl and Cupich as soon as possible. Wuerl was in Rome August 30, and Cupich arrived in Rome recently.  One official confirmed Cardinal Wuerl helped with the draft, and Cardinal Cupich is giving him advice on who to start for the opening weekend.

“Cardinal Cupich did say in his NBC interview that the Holy Father had a bigger agenda,” one official said, “and without a doubt, this is one of those bigger things.”

The official went on to say that with the draft over, the Holy Father will get back to business on important things like saving the environment and protecting migrants, so Catholics need to stay calm.

“The Holy Father relies on some US Cardinals to help him navigate these important issues,” another official said. “Getting the first couple picks right can make or break your season, as any fantasy football player will tell you.”

When asked if Pope Francis will release his starting line-up, the official said “No. The Holy Father’s response is one of silence and prayer. Especially prayer, that he finishes better than fourth place, like he did last season.”

Photo credit: Mike_fleming on VisualHunt / CC BY-SA

About Larry Denninger

After writing at "Acts of the Apostasy" for more than 10 years under a pseudonym, Larry decided it was time to go public, and launch a brand new blog. It will probably backfire horribly. Which means you will want to follow and witness the impending trainwreck. He resides in Michigan.
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