Monthly Archives: July 2019

PARISH REPORT: Lonely Communion Paten Hoping to Be Adopted by Tradtional Catholic Parish

ACMPress – BOSTON – The last remaining communion paten at The National Shrine of the Unending Indult continues to have hope that a traditional Catholic parish will soon adopt him. “It’s tough, you know, sitting in a dark drawer in … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Parody, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Lonely Communion Paten Hoping to Be Adopted by Tradtional Catholic Parish

Survey: People Leaving Musicals Before Final Number are Exclusively Catholics

ACMPress – New York – Broadway theatre owners and managers conducted a survey of their patrons this past June, and discovered that those who leave musical performances just prior to the final number are exclusively Catholic. While the percentage of … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parody, Satire, Tongue In Cheek | Comments Off on Survey: People Leaving Musicals Before Final Number are Exclusively Catholics

PARISH REPORT: Local Woman Sets Personal Record, Attends Mass on 9 Consecutive Sundays

ACMPress – OCALA – Local woman and life-long Catholic Bess Lye-Fevver posted on her Facebook wall earlier this week that she set a personal record of attending Mass 9 consecutive Sundays. “Took a lot of effort and hard work, but … Continue reading

Posted in All The News That's Misfit To Print, Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Parody, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Local Woman Sets Personal Record, Attends Mass on 9 Consecutive Sundays

PARISH REPORT: Man Told He Can’t Bring Liturgical Abuse Emotional Support Dog Into Mass

ACMPress – CHICAGO – Local man Sherman Gephardt attended the 9:30 AM Mass this past Sunday at Our Lady of Perpetual Clapping without his constant companion next to him in the pew – Terror Daemonum, his golden lab emotional support … Continue reading

Posted in Humor, News That Could Be True, Parish Report, Parody, Satire | Comments Off on PARISH REPORT: Man Told He Can’t Bring Liturgical Abuse Emotional Support Dog Into Mass